While flying is generally a wonderous experience, it is not without its drawbacks. Here are twenty tweets on the horrors and absurdities of air travel.
Note: Some tweets are NSFW. Rather, NSFWFH.
- No documentaries are ever made of the explorer’s sister, Cordelia Earhart, whose fear of flying led to a quiet life as a doily-maker.
—Abbi Crutchfield (@curlycomedy)
- Please remain seated until we’ve reached the gate, then feel free to stand hunched over weirdly sideways for 15 minutes while we do whatever
—MarlonRebrando (@contriteperson)
- Going away this summer to an island. A kitchen island. My kitchen island. It’s perfect bc I hate flying and I’m close to my dinnerware.
—kim (@KimmyMonte)
- Amazing that, in mere decades, we’ve changed the miracle of air travel from an incredible adventure to the equivalent of going to the DMV.
—maura quint (@behindyourback)
- If you’re afraid of flying, take a cruise. If you’re afraid of bad magic shows, stay in your cabin the whole time.
—Samantha Ruddy (@samlymatters)
- I saw a lady go into the bathroom with no shoes on. AN AIRPLANE BATHROOM.
I bet she’s patient zero.
—Imani Gandy o—€ (@AngryBlackLady)
- THEY say air travel is safe but THEY don’t tell you about the psychic toll of having Leaving On A Jet Plane in your head for 3 days do THEY
—Living Marble (@living_marble)
- It’s been over an hour and the sociopath monster on my flight continues to view videos on his iPad vertically.
—Jake Fogelnest (@jakefogelnest)
- Flying next to random children is too stressful. Now I’m responsible for helping them with their oxygen masks if we lose cabin pressure?
—Brit Bennett (@britrbennett)
- Bringing a tuna fish sub on this flight was a good idea. Everyone is looking at me like they should have thought of that.
—Sam Morril (@sammorril)
- This day in hyperbole: flight attendant just announced that they’re about to begin their “legendary beverage service.”
—Carrie Brownstein (@Carrie_Rachel)
- The most determined look I’ve ever seen on a human being is the airline passenger trying to fit a large suitcase into a small overhead bin.
—Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonH15
- Some impressive of coughing fits going on here at the back of the plane. Not sure if it’s a competition or what.
—Michael Ian Black (@michaelianblack)
- it’s pretty cool that planes I take fly no higher than 50 feet off the ground through the power of me closing my eyes the whole time
—Katie Heaney (@KTHeaney)
- Someone on this plane had such strong perfume I was actually hoping for a mild disaster so the oxygen masks would drop.
—Phil Lester (@AmazingPhil)
- There are two kinds of people: people who stand up and try to force their way into the airplane aisle after the plane has landed but before they’re letting anybody off, and people who are not at the top of my list if The Purge ever happens
—erin Huckabee ryan (@morninggloria)
- The best cure for fear of flying is really bored-looking flight attendants.
—Abbi Crutchfield (@curlycomedy)
- My flight seatmate asked me where I am flying to. Always good to compare answers on these things.
—Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin)
- I’m always nervous about flying until I finally board the plane and see the people I’ll be living with on the remote island after we crash.
—Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett)
20. Asked to switch seats on the plane because I was sitting next to a crying baby. Apparently, that’s not allowed if the baby is yours.
—Ilana Wiles (@mommyshorts)
